You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with… Whether it’s family or friends, you’ve to surround yourself with people who feed your flame.

Between 2013 and now, can you boldly say you’ve developed really well? Can you say that you are proud of the man/woman you have become?

The people we mingle with, the people we associate or relate with, affects or influences the way we think, the way we see/picture our lives and this world as whole or our life in this world.


Friends or peers are great, at least provided you get them right. Having a bad friend or a loser as a friend is just the same as having discouragement as a friend. I mean each time you get a brilliant idea and decide to share with your friend, he/she is either not interested or would laugh at your idea.

Let us assume you sing quite well and you think of making videos of yourself and uploading to YouTube or going all the way to the music industry (“I need to let the world know I’m a talented singer”). Now, that is a brilliant idea, you then decide to tell your friend (your best friend maybe) about it but your friend just laughs at the idea, then you’re saying to he/she “I am being serious” and your friend says “ok, let me hear you sing”…you sing something and it was not bad, with a little more development and you would be really good but your friend just laughs and laughs and for a while, he/she just could not stop laughing. What would you be feeling at that moment? “If it sounded so bad to my friend, how would it be to other people? I don’t think I am as good as I thought I was.”

Your good friend would instead applaud you and tell you how you need to develop yourself first before taking the big step and he/she would add ideas of his/her own and offer to help you on.

Self-doubt: the bad friend has made you lose your self-confidence and last time I checked, in other to develop, you need to believe in your current abilities, then you can consider making them better/developing them.

Your good friend on the other hand has increased your already high self-confidence. Although you are bound to face some challenges on your way to stardom, with encouragement and support from your friend/loved ones, you would eventually succeed.


Let’s assume, you get an idea to go into some sort of business because you’ve tried to get a job, but the system in the country is not working in your favor. Your good friend would hear your idea and think of working on it with you but your bad friend(s) would hear it and start to give you a million reasons why you won’t succeed and thousands of examples of people who have tried and failed. For some reason, they just seem to have the bad news, though they do not really read/watch the news. Now they have planted the seed of fear in you, you knew the risks before but they have just discouraged you from taking the big step, from developing yourself/your status.

Bad friends are simply the worst! You need to get rid of these losers you call friends, they would hinder your “Personal Development”.


In Africa, parents do not really believe in “talents”, all they want is for you to go to school, study medicine or become an engineer. “Dad, I want to become a footballer?” Very few fathers will actually take this from their children, but the majority won’t. “I want you to become a doctor, period”.  The irony of it all is, when an African country is playing in the on-going World Cup, they shout and shout, supporting the country. Wouldn’t it be the joy of any parent to see his kid represent his/her own country, while the whole world is watching? Family is key to any child’s development.

Now your turn, are you surrounding yourself with people who feed your flame or those who put it out?